Tuesday, September 21, 2010

My Broken Love - If its Broken- Fix It!

It seems like everyone wants to have the right intimate relationship, but no one wants to do the work that is necessary to maintain this type of relationship. Just as a house needs on going maintenance, painting, plumbing, etc. a relationship needs the same.
If two people when they connected were perfect people, then the need for this continuous up keep would of course be unnecessary. Unfortunately, there are no perfect people that are living on the planet since the beginning of time. Even Adam and Eve, had their moment of failure and breakdown. Imagine what would of happened, if Adam had stormed out of the Garden, that would have been disastrous, but leaving Eve stuck all alone with the beguiling serpent, would have been even more disastrous.

If God had not intervened in this covenanted relationship, despite the breakdown and the hurt, the ultimate outcome would of been no more you or me. Procreation would of never gotten off the ground.

If you look at it, as they came together submitting to one another, helping one another, and ultimately, remembering their first love that they had for each other, the relationship was rekindled into something beautiful, that is still lasting throughout the centuries of time.

Women are looking for Sugar Daddies, and men are looking for Barbie Dolls...What is wrong with this picture. Love is thrown out the window, and the only thing that seems to be satisfied is Self. There's self absorption, and no self-denial. You want the trinkets, but not the commitment, you want to eat all the desserts but not endure the hard times but only the good times in the relationships.

Couples are playing the roulette game. Almost to the point of risking it all. Everyone is demanding attention without willing to offer any love and affection. Sleeping in separate rooms, holding on to sex as if you had won the lottery ticket, that's all your own. Your body is not your own, it was given to the other when you said "I Do," not "I Don't." Little do couples know that when you deny your partner- you are opening a dangerous door. Loving your mate, should be a given, it should be something not that you are force to do, or something that should appear as a job, or a chore or even a bore. It should be the most intensified expression of your love for one another.

Granted, now today- you can find a significant other any where, any how. There are a billion people on the planet, (thanks to Adam and Eve-sticking it out) and surely you can find a replacement at the drop of a hat. This is well understood and noted. But this is not the issue.

Finding your soul mate, finding the love of your life is indeed like winning the Mega-Lottery. It's the hidden treasure that was lost and found, it is the most important thing in life that you will ever possess.
The one person in life- that feels you, connects with you- and fits every nook and cranny of your being. This is too awesome to forfeit or overlook. Why settle for second best when you can have the best?

So stop, put the tool belt on, and just throw some love, affection, tenderness and forgiveness on that broken love- just like you throw paint on a wall.

Copyright © 2010 Candace Chambers-Belida
Photo Unknown

Thursday, September 9, 2010


Well when we turn to the good old dictionary and look up the word slather, I must say that it is one of the most sensational words that can grace the human lips. So lets explore more about this word Slather:

tr.v. slath·ered, slath·er·ing, slath·ers Informal
1. To use or give great amounts of; lavish: slathered gifts and attention on their only child. 2. a. To spread thickly: slather onions on the steak. b. To cover with something spread thickly: bagels slathered with cream cheese. n. Slang A great amount. Often used in the plural: slathers of jewels.

Interesting enough, it means to pour on, to literally smother with. Now bear with me, this is not a boring English lesson in school, but rather a principle that if you can adapt this into your every day life. You will find life changing experiences.

Imagine creamy luscious butter slathered on pancakes, or even a hot juicy steak, slathered with grilled mushrooms and onions in a Pinot Griegio wine sauce. Now if this doesn't make your taste buds dance, think then about a bowl full of rocky road ice cream, slathered in whip cream, cherries and drizzled with hot chocolate syrup. Now that I truly have gotten your attention, if we can get so excited about the slathering of food. Why can't we get just as excited about the slathering of Love?

Why can't couples take the time, to become- Slather-licious with one another. Instead of sitting on the couch, flicking the remote control, or picking your toes or nails-"Get slather-licious" with one another. Relationships, marriage is the greatest ecstasy and enjoyment that we can have on this earth. Couples today, don't take the time to slather one another with compliments, care or even love.

They slather more butter on their toast, soap on their cars, than on their significant other. Now creating this atmosphere for love is extremely important, but most importantly than atmosphere is that two people need to slather each other with affection, kisses, friendship, and ultimately crazy love. Become what the other person needs, not just what you think they need.

This oneness has to grow and be increased, if you lessen it, it is like having a great pizza with out the cheese, bread with out the butter, a great dress with out the pearls, and the beach without sand. No one wants less than what they started out having in the beginning. The goo-goo ga-ga's.

So by all means you have my permission to slather one another endlessly, so that your relationship oozes out with amorous love. So put on the music, make the time and remember slathering each other is like spiritual glue that sticks the relationship together.

Take the time from this point on, to become Slathery, Slathered, and Slather-licious. To slather or not to slather, that is the question?

Slather-licious™ Copyright © 2010, Author Candace Chambers-Belida

No Portion Used without Permission by Author- Photo Unknown

Monday, August 30, 2010

The Keys and Simplicity of Love!

Love was never meant to be complicated. Love is suppose to be when two hearts give themselves to each other without reservation and hesitation. It's when the love between two people ignites passion, climbs mountains, swims the longest sea, and stands for each other without ever wavering no matter what.

Today most people are either with the one they love or the one that loves them. Missing seems to be an even exchange of love. Why is that? Why are we with a person that may fit us in every area of our life, but not fit with us - in the heart? Why do we settle ourselves in situations and relationships where we don't feel complete? You know the scene in Jerry McGuire, "You complete me."

How can we settle into a relationship, that offers security, comforts, and maybe even sexual gratification but yet there is no real love or trust? Is it simply because its easier? Ponder this: Haven't we fallen short here in the area of marriage and relationships to compromise such a valuable thing? Love and Marriage is the finest thing in life that we will ever truly receive. So why should we accept part of the commitment of love, without true love being present?

Isn't being in love such an important issue in life that we should consider its steps wisely? When you love someone, you are willing to have reckless abandon. You are willing to free-fall into the arms of the other, knowing without a doubt that the person on the other end will catch you.
I have come to find out that love means a lot of different things to people. For some, love is a house, or a new car. For some it's a warm body next to them every night. For some its being together in a free relationship without any true vows of love or commitment, there are no restrictions nor boundaries.

But for those that have found the key to unlock this mystery, have found that love is the most formidable force to be reckoned with on the face of the earth.

It is a burning fire of sensation that hits to the core of the soul of man. It is unstoppable and unquenchable. It consumes every fiber of ones mind, soul and heart. It is filled with the sweetest sensation that can fall upon the human soul satisfying its intermost cravings.

Finding the right mate, at the right time, is the greatest thing that you can accomplish on this earth, not only does it satisfy the rapaciousness and thirst of the longings of the heart, but to partner with someone that fits perfectly with you in every area is to overflow the heart with true joy and amorous love.

When you are in true love, you get lost within one another. There is no place you'd rather be.

Copyright 2010 Candace Chambers-Belida

Friday, August 13, 2010

Before I Die!

I use to volunteer at an Alzheimer's facility, and I fell in love with all the elderly people there. There was this little old lady, that could only say one sentence. "Before I die! Before I die!" - If she heard you say any word, she would take those last words and say it. So if someone was saying for example: I want some chocolate chip cookies! She would say, "Before I die, Before I die, I have to have lots of chocolate chip cookies-before I die!"

If she heard someone say money- she would say "Before I die, Before I die, I have to have lot's of money before I die!" If you said, sex- she would say "Before I die, Before I die - I have to have lots of sex before I die! "

I'd say the word Love- and she would say - "Before I die, Before I die, I have to have lots of love before I die."

I think Living and Dying with Lots of Love around you, is the perfect thing to aim for- She died, a few months later.

"Lots of Love and God's Presence-Before I die! "

True Story!

Copyright 2010 Candace Chamber-Belida

Thursday, August 12, 2010


I think we can learn a thing or two from King Solomon about love and romance. In his day he truly knew the divine rapture of love, enough to write a whole chaper on it. His writings displayed not only the incredible passion that two people can have for one another, but he also uses it as an allegory of God's love.

The Marriage, was meant to be exhuberant and exciting. Even to the point that when two people looked at each other they would become intoxicated by their love. Enough to even become blissfully lovesick.

Songs of Solomon 2:4 - He brings me to the banquet hall and everyone can see how much he loves me. Oh feed me with your love- your raisins and your apples- for I am utterly lovesick. Amazing that she is so weak with love that she has for him, that she is not only fainthearted, but she looks to the man that she loves, to restore her from the weakness in her. " She goes on to say, His left hand is under my head and with his right hand he embraces me. Because she so adoringly loves the way she feels she goes on to say, " Kiss me again and again for your love is sweeter than wine." This is her bridal experience.

The joy of her husband excites her so that she is so faint with love, that she has become lovesick. Have you ever been lovesick? You are so disoriented, so weak, that you can't even think straight. He is her beloved, and he has taken her to the banquet hall, and his banner over her is love, and she is so overwhelmed by his presence and the experience, thus becoming lovesick.

Solomon goes on to say that it's not only her beauty that mesermizes him, but he is drunk off of her love. In his allegory he goes on to say seal me in your heart with permanent betrothal, for love is strong as death, and jealousy is as cruel as Sheol. It flashes fire, the very flame of Jehovah. Many waters cannot quench the flame of love, neither can the floods drown it.- Wow-- a burning flame of Love.

So when you get hit with a flaming arrow of love, now you know where it came from. It originates from the very throne of God. In a marriage the marriage bed is holy, undefiled. If you stop a second and think about it, God has made intimacy between a man and women a little of heaven on earth. A heavenly bliss which is to be experienced, joining the two and making them one. One Flesh meshing together as God has intended.

Many couples don't love each other righteously, let alone lovingly. They use their bodies as a weapon, instead of using it as a loving expression of their tenderness and commitment. If they would embraced these words of Soloman, and allow their love for each other to be awakened instead of falling into a deep sleep, they would find that their relationship is absolutely delicious.
Stop and Think, is there anything more splendiforus than being intoxicated on Love? Nope my friend, my conclusion, being Lovesick- is not bad at all.

Copyright 2010 Candace Chambers-Belida Photo Unknown

Erase It All

Sometimes in life we have to do the most difficult thing that the heart can do. Erase our past, erase our history. How do you erase your footprints that are so indublity planted in the heart? Some things in life are irreversable. Once said, they can't be retracted, once done, never to be undone. If only we could see the future, and know how to guide ourselves we would be always on perfect ground.

In marriage, sometimes our actions come forth in such an incredible way, that we have to step back and wonder who said or did that. The bad can't be erased, yet sometimes the good is erased forever. It is important that we imprint on the hearts of the one we love, the true essence of our feelings and desire. Making a mark on one's life must be one that is cherished and that leaves the other with rapturous thoughts of joy.

It is important to erase the pain, the hurts and sadness but stamp for life the estacy of true love.
Copyright 2010 Candace Chambers-Belida

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

The Beauty of Trust

One of the most valuable things in life that cannot be traded or compromised is Trust. I remember as a little girl, my father said to me " If you love someone, don't ever lie to them-because when you want them to believe you they never will." His words have always echoed in the back of my mind.
Relationships and marriages and even friendships are based on this one thing called Trust. The beauty of trust is reckless abandon. When you trust someone, you can let your feelings and emotions free, because you have fallen into the security of the relationship.
The awesome power of marriage, is that the two partners trust each other explicitly. Whether near or far, there is a real assurance that all is well. The compelling factor that motivates and instills trust is the four letter word, LOVE.
Love not only climbs mountains, swims the deepest sea, but it surrounds the other person with a cloak of tenderness and honesty. Love in its purest form is shear innocence. Like the heart of a child, trusting and with full confidence. Love can circle around the universe and come back and find its home in the heart and soul of man.
Trust, Love, and Desire the three jeweled foundation stones, that can make any relationship here on earth, eternal bliss.
Copyright 2010 Candace Chambers-Belida

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

When Hearts Collide

With the beauty of the universe, what do you do when two hearts collide? When two unlikely people, not looking for love, spontaniously collide. Isn't that the wonder of it all? Whether you are walking down the street, or stopped by the local coffee shop, then suddenly "WAM- BAM"- something hits you like a bolt of lightening.
You are so mystified by the experience that you can't even jarble into common sense what has happened.
At that moment you have sudden amnesia. You can't even plead temporary insanity. You hardly even know your name, and everything seems confusing. But one thing for sure you know you are no longer the same.
You are bewildered to understand and can't reason, how in an instant has your emotions changed to this strange euphoric feeling for this person. You now have an amazing desire of love and concern for this person. The strangeness of it all, you find that you can't help yourself. You wake up with this person on your mind, and through out the day not a moment passes as they embrace the deep corners of your mind. They say that love is a powerful force, it is an intense flame, and nothing can quench its fire.
One thing for sure, humanity can confirm... it is definately a force to be reckoned with.

Copyright 2010 Candace Chambers-Belida- Photo unknown.